Journal

Sorry about the weirdness from the past few days. I know my post haven't exactly been expansive introspective outlooks at the development phase of my writing career, or the lack thereof. However, I am back and in fact come  barring good news. In the Creative Writing class that I'm taking this semester we are forced to partake in a activity where we look at a prose and then write down our ideas and inspirations in a journal.

Oh gee hows that for conventional? I get to kill two birds with one stone, the complacent sloth is well pleased by this development.

Yeah yeah I know I'm ridiculously  lazy but I see it like this; now you will actually have current and fresh writings from me and I will post every single one whether I like it or not. So here you go.

My mother used to have a way of quickly pissing me off. It was just like she had a switch she kept pushing back and forth at the tips of her fingers. You could say it was natural, parents often form this type of strain relationship with their children once the teens years come roar in but, this was different. As if some carbon copy of me was formulated to know all the right buttons to punch in. To put it simply, I was my mother's daughter which entitled being anal, moody, no bullshit taking, mean and yet compassionate. I never understood how much I should have valued that until the switch stopped flipping and the buttons were left deserted and untouched. For once it would be nice to have someone who actually understands the complexities, the mess that is me.

Things I have lost list,

1. Sleep, my peace of mind gone and so with it, rest.
2. Me, so lost in the what ifs I lost track of where I was.
3. Family, when values get forsaken the word becomes hard to swallow.
4.Friends, they travel through revolving doors.
5. Mom, the only person who ever got it.
6. Confidence, because my world stop making sense.

So many hours are spent with me burning holes into the ceiling. I flip and flip in my bed, trapping myself in a sea of sheets. The hours trickle by and I wander how many classes will I be able to get through before I'll have to lay my head down and give in. Or, how many tosses will I miss because my brain can hardly function? Dear sleep, I don't know what I did to piss you off so much but I'm not a vampire. Come back so I can finally rest.