Saturday, December 25, 2010

A White Christmas

i woke up
trying to dream the day away
just to let it past me by
i feel no joy
no sense of happiness and cheer
the scrooge
the heartless one
wrapped in a cover of colors
as if hiding from the happiness
the lights.

Its snowing
white little swirls
purifying the world
should i move
should i get up?
or let this white world
pass me by.

come purify me.

Friday, December 17, 2010


Today i had a break down wrapped up in covers in my room.
I realize that i wasn't as perfect as i wanted to be, that there was something wrong about me. Completely undesirable. I felt like i was always going to be struggling to be well... just anything. Struggling to keep from drowning in the vastness of this unfair harsh world. But... then i fell and sprain my finger, and i realize that all this time i wasn't struggling

I was floating.

I guess that was the world's way of slapping me and saying

Get over it. Get over yourself.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

There was a time...

There was a time... when writing came so effortlessly when words flowed so beautiful from the tip of my pen onto cram line paper, but that time has past and I'm left thinking is there anything at least particularly special about me. Without my writing... what else is there to see, to look at and admire and think that its beautiful. Without my writing I'm nothing, but just a fading ugly stained on a forgotten piece of fabric. You were my first love, and now i lost you.

How could I?