Well I was having a good day. At least until I went to practice and then that fucking ruined everything. So here you go.

My feet moved hastily across the parking lot as my eyes scanned for the 94 Volvo, diminished now from it's former glory. I let out a sight of relief, grateful that the vehicle hadn't taken too long to spot in the ocean of shiny automobiles  It was old and rustic compared the the surrounding cars. it's coat of pain a far cry from the crisp white color it once was. Now there was mud splashes, and small scratches placed sporadically around it's outer body.

She always forgets to wash it, I thought bemused before opening the door to retrieve the medication for Charlie. The kid is probably going about nuts by now.
As I pop the door open a smell of discarded junk food hit my noise. Everything inside the car was pure, unadulterated chaos  From the Mcdonalds wrappers that ambushed the back sheet floors, to the hasty script written on the stick notes, probably reminders, that covered the entire dashboard.

I hesitated for a moment, afraid of where I inserted my hand, it would soon be bitten off by some forgotten rodent or pet. Thankfully the medication was right where she said it would be, on the passenger seat. My hands circled around the desperate object, probably thrilled to able to escape the car. The cool plastic felt weird compared to the crack leather it rested on.

Wait! Was that...evergreen? My eyes peered up locking it gaze on the air freshener  placed on the mirror. Something to probably combat the odd smell. to be honest the contrasting smell only seem to make the car's queer aroma worse. I sighed, grabbing the door handle, now deteriorate with erosion  It felt like sand paper, rough, unlike the smoothness of plastic in my hands. I gently shut the door and started heading toward the school.

Charlie's mother was already walking toward me, her hair in a frazzled state, blouse now un-tucked from her skirt as her feet moved frantically to meet me. Every attempted to look professional and put together, failed.

"Do you have it" she inquired desperately, hand surged forward.
"Yeah" I stated, giving the car one more lasting glance before handing her Charlie's medication.
We walked back, breathing in the crisp autumn air before confronting another chaotic mess.

So I am currently in my art class. I really should be painting however, my teacher is currently out and I need her help before I can move forward on my project so it looks like I'm going to be posting on here instead. I know I've been slacking off on this blog so I thought I could make today another double feature. Here is what I should have posted yesterday.

The blood rippled across the gentle unmarked skin, an attestation to the winds hollowing my insides as the voices continued to scream. Fingers glided diligently with their instrument in hand. It,  however grotesque the notes was necessarily to evade the uncanny noise and reel in the peaceful silence with willing out stretched arms. They almost looked like jewels, as the blood trickled down my arm, a metallic smell drowned my nostrils but cleanse the yelling in my head.

(9:55 pm Update... sooo many mistakes. I guess that's what i get for trying to do this in class)

bleh

To be honest I'm exhausted. I have two quizzes tomorrow, one involving 50 vocab terms so yeah there's my excuse. Promise to make for it tomorrow.

Journal

Sorry about the weirdness from the past few days. I know my post haven't exactly been expansive introspective outlooks at the development phase of my writing career, or the lack thereof. However, I am back and in fact come  barring good news. In the Creative Writing class that I'm taking this semester we are forced to partake in a activity where we look at a prose and then write down our ideas and inspirations in a journal.

Oh gee hows that for conventional? I get to kill two birds with one stone, the complacent sloth is well pleased by this development.

Yeah yeah I know I'm ridiculously  lazy but I see it like this; now you will actually have current and fresh writings from me and I will post every single one whether I like it or not. So here you go.

My mother used to have a way of quickly pissing me off. It was just like she had a switch she kept pushing back and forth at the tips of her fingers. You could say it was natural, parents often form this type of strain relationship with their children once the teens years come roar in but, this was different. As if some carbon copy of me was formulated to know all the right buttons to punch in. To put it simply, I was my mother's daughter which entitled being anal, moody, no bullshit taking, mean and yet compassionate. I never understood how much I should have valued that until the switch stopped flipping and the buttons were left deserted and untouched. For once it would be nice to have someone who actually understands the complexities, the mess that is me.

Things I have lost list,

1. Sleep, my peace of mind gone and so with it, rest.
2. Me, so lost in the what ifs I lost track of where I was.
3. Family, when values get forsaken the word becomes hard to swallow.
4.Friends, they travel through revolving doors.
5. Mom, the only person who ever got it.
6. Confidence, because my world stop making sense.

So many hours are spent with me burning holes into the ceiling. I flip and flip in my bed, trapping myself in a sea of sheets. The hours trickle by and I wander how many classes will I be able to get through before I'll have to lay my head down and give in. Or, how many tosses will I miss because my brain can hardly function? Dear sleep, I don't know what I did to piss you off so much but I'm not a vampire. Come back so I can finally rest.

Back

First last day of school back. I'm exhausted, still can't sleep. But I'm back home now.

Complications

so i am currently typing this on my phone, thank god my friend has a good connection in her house. too bad she doesnt actually have internet either. hence the reason why all mu words are in lower case. after the shitty day that i had yesterday i just had to leave. so because of my limited resources this will probably be a quickie. im going to have to eventually go back later tonight. my first day of my spring semester tomorrow and im kind of nervous. i dont want to go home to be honest, said some pretty bad things as true as they might have been. however, gotta be responsible. be the adult and do the right thing. this will probably be riddled with mistakes so i will probably fix it all tomorrow. well back into the fray.

Sorry

Really really bad day. To be honest I'm not in the mood to write anything. The world is not a beautiful place. In the end all people will do is disappoint you to the point where you'll lose faith in everything. Everything and everyone is broken, and that is all there is too life. Sorry existentialist  but it's true. Why else do you think the world is so fucked up?

I better stop before this becomes a big fat giant rant.

Good night.